Bachelorette Season 19 Episode 1 Word Vomit

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Season 19 of the Bachelor/Bachelorette premiered tonight and I thought what better topic to write my first “word vomit” entry on then the most controversial season in Bachelor history. Yes, for the first time Chris Harrison really meant it when he said the MOST CONTROVERSIAL SEASON EVER! And unlike a lot of other people, I am beyond thrilled with this seasons twist…. because shit! before tonight, I have not been hooked on a episode since Lindsay Yenter got drunk in a wedding dress or.. that fifty shades of cray chick.

The seasons controversy has been everywhere on social media since Chris’ season ended that not even my boyfriend who isn’t a fan of the show can ignore the backlash it’s been getting. As a fan of both girls I started out the episode not really knowing who I wanted to win but that didn’t take long to change. Before we go there however I would like to talk about the guys.

The Why’s… like legit Why?

The drunk guy- To be fair … there was Jordan  and even better Tara on last seasons the bachelor. Chris Soules saw past both girls drunken shenanigans and kept them both around for a few episodes. So when Brian started getting awfully rowdy I was slightly rooting for his poor soul & also hoping I would get to see another epic rose acceptance failure but when things went really bad I have to say I was really disgusted. Like you’re representing the most eligible bachelors in America right now and that is how you want to do it? Drunk, moronic, vulgar, inappropriate, the list goes on and on and it’s quite sad. I mean I could be one to talk because I’ve had my fair share of sloppy nights but this is national television. So I got to say if his goal was to stick out like a sore thumb.. BRAVO sir. You done good. And you suck. K bye.

The “healer”- When he kissed the tree… LOLZ!!! Could not stop laughing. And was I the only one who noticed the spiritual gangster sign?  But really.. even though he made my why list can we please keep him around for awhile? He’s almost as great as the onion girl last season. FREEZE ( can we all take a moment to imagine how great it would be if the spiritual gangster & the onion girl got together? The best thing since JP & Ashley DUH!! I see something incredible happening on Bachelor In Paradise fingers crossed.) 

The male dancer- K does anyone else remember Rated R on Ali’s season? Why does this guy remind me of him so much? I do have to thank him for his pelvic air thrusting moves because without I wouldn’t have gotten a chance to hear Kaitlyn yell “oh Yellho”… I died. I love her.

My favorites ❤

Joshua The Sweet Country Boy- I’m not even a fan of blondes. I am a fan of him. That smile.. those eyes.. that jaw line.. that accent. LIKE HELLO yes please. break me off a piece of (Cassie you got a man) ….

The dentist- I don’t even care if he rode up in a cup cake space ship…. or how cheesy his line was when he got out.. His smile… no wonder he’s a dentist… (insert dirty joke.. deleted because my dad might be one of the only people who actually reads this) 

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(photo bustle.com)

Ben H– His one on one conversation with Kaitlyn was genuine feeling. I really think he would be a good match for her plus he’s got a face of an angel.

JJ- “The bar said they have another drink for you”… The fact that he even tried. Loved it. However there is always a creepy clingy person on every season I don’t know why but he gives off a concerning vibe. It’s always one of the normal cute ones in the beginning. My bet’s on him.

Favorite first impressions

Car pool guy…  I was chugging a glass of wine while reading a text and I totally regret it cause I need to know if that thing actually drove.. so if you caught that part feel free to fill me in. Next on my craft list- DIY POOL CAR by half ass chic crafts… #bucketlist #lifegoals

CUPCAKE SPACE SHIP. He could have been a fugly with a beer gut and I still would have put him on my YES list.

Super hero shirt- That was cheesy as all hell but I gotta hand it to the guy. It was cute.

THE BACHELORETTE - ABC's hit romantic reality series,
THE BACHELORETTE – ABC’s hit romantic reality series, “The Bachelorette,” kicks off its 11th season continuing the surprises of this season’s “Bachelor” with the biggest one of all: there will be two Bachelorettes. Who will the men prefer? Eventually, only one woman will be left to hand out the final rose. “The Bachelorette” returns to ABC, premiering MONDAY, MAY 18 (9:00-11:00 p.m., ET), on the ABC Television Network. (ABC/Craig Sjodin)
BACK ROW: TANNER, DANIEL, BEN H., IAN, KUPAH, COREY, SHAWN E., JOE;
MIDDLE ROW: BRADLEY, SHAWN B., JOSH A., JOSH S., BRADY, JARED, TONY, BEN Z., RYAN M.;
FRONT ROW: RYAN B., CHRIS, JUSTIN, JONATHAN, CLINT, DAVID, CORY, JJ

(photo wetpaint.com)

knock knock.. whose there.. two bachelorettes.. two bachelorettes who?.. thats the joke. 

The thing that I love about Kaitlyn is that she is a total weirdo… like total weirdo. And I like her because I know we would have been friends because I am kind of a weirdo. And I like her jokes. (Side note and off topic but did anyone notice Kaitlyn drinking wine while Britt drank a mixed drink of some sort… is it odd that I thought the girls only drank wine on this show?) But I am also a fan of Britt. In fact first thing I did after she got the first impression rose last season was hit up my cosmetic store for some BRITT LIP. The thing about her is I truly think she’s been painted in a negative light out of jealousy by others. I am not saying there is nothing off about her because I have noticed a few things that yes have made me cringe but then again I have to remind myself this is reality TV and there is not much reality in it anymore. The way I see it is Britt never stood a chance. I don’t think the producers would allow her to win even if the guys ultimately chose her. The logic behind it is obvious. Bachelor nation loves Kaitlyn. This isn’t Twilight.. there is no even balance between teams like Jacob and Edward #teamEDWARD. It’s clear that 90 percent of the world loves Kaitlyn and the other 10 percent loves Britt. Which brings me back to my Britt theory… Let’s start with the Bachelorette poster.. why the hell is Britt in a prom dress from 2001 and Kaitlyn is in this hot little number?

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(photo netflixlife.com)

I don’t know maybe because everyone know’s Kaitlyn is going to win? Even the outfit choices tonight I had to question.. Sure Britt was stunning in white but it just kind of looked like a cheap wedding gown if you ask me compared to Kaitlyn’s sleek black one. Like, I know Britt has style I follow her on Instagram so why does she keep showing up looking like prom barbie?

THE BACHELORETTE -
THE BACHELORETTE – “Episode 1101A” – America fell in love with two very different but dynamic Bachelorettes last season – Britt Nilsson and Kaitlyn Bristowe. It was hard to choose between the beautiful, charming Britt and the gorgeous, fun-loving, wise cracking Kaitlyn. So now, 25 eligible bachelors will choose between these two amazing women. For the first time in franchise history there will be two Bachelorettes. Chris Soules sent both ladies home broken hearted, but now with another chance at love, both women are ready to take a journey they hope will wind up happily ever after, on “The Bachelorette” two-night premiere event, MONDAY, MAY 18 (9:01-11:00 p.m., ET) and TUESDAY, MAY 19 (8:00-9:00 p.m, ET), on the ABC Television Network. (ABC/Rick Rowell)
CLINT, KAITLYN BRISTOWE, BRITT NILSSON

(photo wetpaint.com)

As for my vote.. I have always loved Britt but her confidence in the beginning kind of irked me a bit. Some people exude confidence and make it what it is, beautiful and others teeter totter the cocky line a bit and tonight I felt a little bit of a cocky vibe. It could have also been the fact that Kaitlyn was starting to depress me with her sad eyes though. Luckily for her things clearly turned a corner and the show left off making it appear she was in the lead. Which she better be because she surely became my favorite tonight. (Britt you’re still a total babe though and I love you and your perfect hair.)

There’s a lot of speculation going around that Britt is the “loser” so to speak and seeing that Britt has been doing a lot of Instagraming over the last 6 days.. 32 instas to be exact while Kaitlyn has been pretty quiet in social media world, I myself am starting to question if that really does mean Britt lost. Bachelorette is also said to be still filming and one of Britts most recent instas was this shot right here captioning that it was found on her apartment floor…. So what does that mean? That Britt’s home photographing alien saliva while Kaitlyn is getting a rock on the other side of the world? I mean I wouldn’t be surprised.

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Maybe not. Either way as long as the girls stick to playing nice they both deserve a shot at love and by the looks of Britts most recent post and last night’s billboard awards they still get along. Good for you girly’s!!!

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THERE WAS WINE DURING THE MAKING OF THIS, SEVERE ADHD & LACK OF SLEEP.

So if your like this guy..

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Sorry.

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